Who the hell are you trusting on your Cyber Security Team?

Recently I found some paper published by one Center dependent from the US Department of Homeland Security:

In this paper they advised about the insiders threat and they gave some clues to detect strange behavior on your inner personnel:

It was very impressive:  100% of my Cyber Security consultants team match these indicators !!!!!

Now I am looking for good Cyber Security engineers that never access networks at odd times, only works 8 hours on labors days, never attend cell phone when out of the office or in Holidays, never read classified material, never show any interest on anything outside his perimeter and, most important, never enjoy a good beer after a long day of tapping, sniffing, tag classification and graph creation day!!!!

Surprisingly I am not finding any candidate !!!! Do you know why is this?

(You can find the whole paper Here )